Essay Feedback

Last week I sent over Dom a copy of my essay as I start to write more, I had over half of my essay written at this stage so I felt that this was the right time for more tweaking.

Today me and Dom had a discussion in which she went over the essay and how I could move forward with it, I found this chat really useful and can begin to apply the feedback to the essay for next weeks COP session in which we need a full essay draft.

Comments from discussion (my responses in purple):

• Is the question/discussion more about graphic design or branding within graphic design? I agree that the question is very focused on branding within graphic design, so maybe some of my essay needs re-wording towards a branding focus instead of just graphic design as a whole, as nearly all of my case studies and theories focus on branding.
• Analyse the last paragraph in the introduction a little bit more.
• 'Freelance work will also mean that our clients will be international through recommendations from previous clients, reviews and/or a following' - add this in intro, as sections like this form rationale in intro. I agree with this, these will make the intro stronger
• Analyse the point about being able to convince not only peers but outsiders with strong research- Add something like 'as this increases sales and recommendations that clients given for the designer'
• Take out the sentences written in first person in the cross-cultural psychology chapter.
• Cut the bit about the way we eat, greet, our morning rituals relating to our culture. I agree as this is a bit obvious so it doesn't really need to be there, and it's not very design based.
• Add more branding theories when discussing the differences between eastern and western design as the case studies used after this are branding based
• Cut the bit where I have described the actual differences between the two KitKat designs, it's quite obvious so it doesn't really need describing.
• When discussing symbolisation and signs, mention semiotics.
• The colour psychology discussion in the culture and identity chapter relates to the eastern vs western comparison chapter when mentioning the KitKat designs. Linking this back would work well as it's so relevant. Analyse colour psychology when mentioning the KitKat designs
• More overall analysing instead of describing

Theories and sources Dom recommended:

• Vance Packard "the hidden persuaders- selling a sense of roots"
• The politics of design book
• Ethical considerations